Discernment Counseling: Knowing when it’s time to let it go.
Relationships hold the potential for immense satisfaction and fulfillment. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves at a crossroads, unsure whether to continue or to let go. This is where discernment counseling can be a valuable tool. In this blog post, I will delve into discernment counseling and how it can help you navigate the difficult decision of whether to hold on or move on from a relationship.
Why Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling is a specialized form of couples therapy designed to help couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship. It acknowledges that not every couple is ready or willing to commit to traditional couples therapy and focuses on providing individual clarity and understanding rather than immediate problem-solving. The following are some signs you may need to consider Discernment Counseling:
Persistent Confusion: If you find yourself constantly torn between staying in the relationship and ending it, it may be a sign that discernment counseling is needed. Persistent confusion indicates that something is amiss, and a neutral perspective can help you gain clarity.
Communication Breakdown: When communication within the relationship becomes strained or non-existent, it can be challenging to make informed decisions. Discernment counseling provides a safe space for open and honest dialogue.
Repetitive Patterns: If you find yourselves stuck in repetitive patterns of conflict or avoidance, discernment counseling can help you identify these patterns and explore whether they can be changed.
The Goals of Discernment Counseling
Understanding Choices: Discernment counseling helps individuals and couples understand the choices before them. It's not about making a decision during the counseling but about gaining clarity and perspective.
Focusing on Self: It encourages individuals to focus on their own needs, desires, and goals. This can be empowering and enlightening, helping you make decisions that align with your personal growth.
Communication Improvement: By providing a neutral space for communication, discernment counseling can improve the way you talk and listen to each other. This skill can be beneficial whether you decide to stay together or part ways.
The Decision-Making Process
Discernment counseling typically involves several sessions where each partner has a chance to express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns. The counselor guides these conversations, ensuring that they remain constructive and respectful. Throughout the process, you'll explore three paths:
Path One - Staying the Same: This path involves understanding the possibility of maintaining the relationship as it is, with no immediate changes.
Path Two - Ending the Relationship: This path focuses on the decision to end the relationship, acknowledging the challenges and difficulties it poses.
Path Three - Committing to Change: This path involves recognizing the potential for change and growth within the relationship, with both partners willing to work on it.
Discernment counseling can provide clarity when you're at a relationship crossroads. It helps you gain a deeper understanding of your situation, your needs, and your options. Remember that seeking help is a brave and proactive step towards personal growth and well-being, whether you decide to continue the relationship or part ways. Ultimately, the goal is to make a decision that aligns with your happiness and fulfillment.
